I have mentioned a lot about how I felt and about what I went through, but there is always another side...the dad! He isnt the one physically going through anything, however, mentally, there is a whole lot happening! Through our whole experience, I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful husband who was there with me to support me through these tough times. A lot of people would call and ask how I was, and tell him how sorry they were for ME...but really, it was an US. We both had to go through this situation together, and the hardest part for the dad, is that all he can do is support, he cant change anything, he cant work magic. Pregnancy, miscarriage, birth, it is all out of our control. There is nothing the dad can do to change anything, and that is difficult.
I remember the first time we went to the ER and they saw a heartbeat with a baby...the tears in my husbands eyes made me realize that he too is so emotionally involved in every bit of the pregnancy! When we were told we had lost the baby and there were a lack of tears, I knew it was because he was trying to stay strong for me...but I know he was torn! We both were!
Through all of what we have been through, my husband has been by my side. He has held me in his arms and just let me cry, he has encouraged me to stay strong, he has even gone into the grocery store in the middle of the night to get me pads!!! In the same respect, I have been there for him. I understand he cant physically go through what I have been, but I think it is almost harder for the dad because of that. They feel helpless, but yet they do so much to support.
Next time you know someone who has gone through a tragedy like this, remember there is a dad, and dont forget to ask how the dad is doing!
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